MOMS TALK: What's the Biggest Challenge Facing Perry Hall Moms?

Tom February 18, 2011 at 04:47 pm

Daya it could be worse. At least you're not a stay at home dad. The men think you're a dead-beat and the women in the parks/playgrounds/library/mall, etc. think you're perving on them or their kids if you talk. I've made a lot of friends but have been unfairly persecuted I feel. It's ok, I understand.

Emily Kimball (Editor) February 18, 2011 at 06:27 pm

Why do you think that is? Parenting responsibilities are shared more than ever these days, so why would the idea of a stay st home dad be so difficult for people to understand?

Roni February 18, 2011 at 06:44 pm

I don't think it's the "biggest" challenge but it sure is challenging! My first just started kindergarten and I still feel like an outsider will all the other moms. It seems like everyone knows everyone else except me.
And Tom, I feel you. :( Even as a working mom I've felt shunned by the stay at homes. It's not the same but anytime you are in a different situation I think others are initially stand-off-ish.

Daya Chaney-Webb February 18, 2011 at 06:48 pm

I bet with the job market in mind, traditional gender roles will become more flexible. It just takes some time for minds to become more open. I have a couple friends with husbands that stay home with their kids because it just makes more sense for their families. Tom, hang in there, reasonable parents will understand your position.

Debi Mikolowsky February 18, 2011 at 07:51 pm

I'm with Roni. I have three little girls and my oldest started kindergarten this year. It's like a whole new world to me. While I am thrilled to have a child in elementary school, I feel slightly removed from the social aspect of it. This is more due to me having limited participation with two younger children at home. I am unable to volunteer for daytime school events - although I really should put myself out there for the evening activities. I'm working on it!
I have had made some wonderful friends though a couple of local moms groups, which has helped me - especially when I first moved to Maryland and did not know anyone here. Tom ~ I also can understand where you are coming from. Although I will tell you, if we see you at a local park, my girls might flock to you. They love playing with other daddies at the park, I think because they don't get to do that with their own daddy too often. Hang in there - I, for one, will strike up a conversation if I bump into you at a park or the library! :o)

Stacey Schantz February 19, 2011 at 02:25 am

It IS hard to meet people! I have the same issues. My boys are young, and we frequent the library and parks quite often. But as outgoing as I am it's sometimes hard to strike up a conversation with Moms (or Dads). Mostly because it often feels like I'm just there with my boys and others are all in a group or know eachother.
One way I have been successful is friending my preschoolers friend's parents. This is easier for me because "playdates" usually still require parents to be present. But even if you kids are school age, invite your childs favorite friend and his/her parent to come over one weekend for coffee. Maybe you'll strike up something in common and a budding friendship. And personally, I'm so excited for warmer weather to get outside and stop hibernating!

Greg Stotler April 14, 2011 at 08:41 pm

Tom, I agree with you. If you don't make it clear you are there with a child then the moms give you dirty looks. If you are too friendly with other moms they think you are trying to get into their pants. I do think that we are groundbreakers. I am proud to be a stay at home dad!!

A38 April 28, 2011 at 05:54 pm

There is a wonderful MOPS group (Mothers Of Preschoolers) that meets at Community Christian Church on the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month from 7-9pm. It's a great way to meet other moms in the community. If anyone would like more information, please email amoran38@yahoo.com.
Sadly, it's just for moms but if there were enough dads, they could start a similar group!